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THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY OF THE DIS BRIMSTONE DAILY PITCHFORK

Posted in FRED SCHWARTZ OPINIONS, IN HINDSIGHT, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on 27/08/2014 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fredschwartz1

Even here in Hell, people wonder just where the time goes. On 27 August 2005, Pain made the very first post for the digital version of Hell’s leading daily newspaper beginning and odyssey from Blogger to WordPress that finds me here writing today. members of the writing staff and research staff have come and gone. Some, like Diane Valencen have gone and returned.

The very first story we covered was Hurricane Katrina. We asked the same questions about the response and the government’s failure to protect the citizens of New Orleans that everyone else did. As time went on we covered many major stories in the United States especially the Culture Wars. The first story that got us noticed in the wider blogoshpere was the May 2006 murder of Tiffany Souers in Clemson, South Carolina. Her killer, Jerry Buck Inman was arrested in early June and put Robin Naismith Green’s crime reporting front and center.

More stories broke as our political writing moved forward with the full time hiring of Culture Wars reporter Sarah Bloch. The 2006 midterm elections were another step toward Internet success for our staff. A signature piece I wrote during the Blogger days was about Congressman Mark Foley who resigned under a cloud of scandal surrounding House pages.

Following that historic election was another high time for politics in the United States. Both Senator Hillary Clinton and then Senator Barack Obama were running for the nomination of the Democratic Party for President in 2008. I recall the staff meeting the morning of Super Tuesday 2008 when Cavalor Epthith said, “If Obama comes close to being the winner today, he will be President of the United States.” On that long day Obama won more states and delegates but Hillary got more votes. In a midnight editorial The Boss endorsed Barack Obama officially after months of fence sitting.

Then came the economic collapse of 2008 in the late summer. Carlton Pryor, long before the rant of Rick Santelli on CNBC, warned about the dangers of too big to fail, ninja loans and the subprime synthetic derivative housing market. We fought the conservative lies about the cause of the crisis, which of course was a mixture of Wall Street greed and Main Street greed, but was crystallized in a Manhattan Institute piece saying the Community Reinvestment Act caused the crisis. This was the lie and it took years to die.

hindsight 2333
In Hindsight

The biggest story by far was the Boston Marathon bombing last year and we broke the name of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev seven minutes before NBC News making it the highest traffic days ever. Oh yeah we presented beauty in the form of nude Human beings from time to time as well. This got a bit out of hand on what we called Porn Sunday while at Blogger and they summarily in June 2010 deleted our blog. Cavalor debated for a few days if we should migrate to another format and we settled on WordPress four years ago. I am still eager, everyday for the next big story from Terra and hopefully it will be my pleasure to bring you the opinions of those in hell on what really matters to the Living for many years to come. And, of course, Jim Hoft is still the stupidest man on the Internet.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
62 Ashtaq 3 AS

DAWN PATROL: 62 ASHTAQ 3 AS

Posted in DAWN PATROL, Uncategorized with tags , , on 27/08/2014 by Majordomo Pain

As_DaVinci_would_have_seen_Pain

 

 

The main news of Terra follows the ellipses . . .

United nations investigators determine chlorine used as a weapon eight times this past April against Syrian civilians by Syrian Army.

IMF Chairwoman Christine Lagarde has no plans to resign amidst the growing scandal regarding her alleged mishandling of a corruption investigation.

The Michael Brown shooting protests now enter St Louis.

Power cords to over one million Hewlett Packard laptops have been recalled in China.

Tempe, Arizona government bans LGBT worker discrimination.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
62 Ashtaq 3 AS

THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF FETAL PERSONHOOD IN THE COMMONWEALTH OF VIRGINIA

Posted in CONSERVATIVE FEAR, CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, COUNTER-THEOCRACY, FEARSPEAK, FETAL PERSONHOOD, GOP MELTDOWN, HOW HELL WORKS, SEX, TEA PARTY, THEOCRACY, Uncategorized, VULCA, WHITE PRIVILEGE with tags , , , , , , , , , on 22/02/2012 by Cavalor Epthith, Esquire, D.S.V.J

I could not enjoy a late supper at Vulca last night with two of my colleagues from the paper without being interrupted and ask a legal question about Virginia’s bid to enact a fetal personhood law. The questions came like a shower of brimstone. “Would it pass federal scrutiny?” “Is it legal?” “Could fetuses enter into contracts?” And there were sillier and worse questions that I will not even go into at this time.

By the time Joy Sellinger, a junior partner at Pinchon-Davies, the legal experts retained by The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork, plopped down next to Diane Valencen I looked down at my cold, half eaten leepoo cordon bleu and explained a few things. I set down my knife and fork, wiped my mouth and picked up the wine glass and drained the wonderful Medoc that had been suggested by Claudette Teroux, Vulca’s sommelier. I turned my head and cast my gaze upon Ms Sellinger and I spoke.

“What do you think the purpose of fetal personhood legislation is in the United States?”

Sellinger thought for a oment like any good trial lawyer would do and said, “To use emotion to prevent women from having abortions.”

I cocked my head to the side and replied, “Joy, stop thinking like a member of the Hellac Bar for one minute.” I leaned toward her and whispered, “The purpose is to increase a decreasing dempgraphic. That is the bigger picture. That is what all the anti-contraception law talk is about; demographic shifts which in an age of nearly universal suffrage means voting power which is legislative power that was once held firmly in the hands of a certain group. Seeing the decline in birth rates among this privileged group and the radical increase in birth rates among those who have never held the scepter of power in the United States the States, severally due to conservative turn in state legislatures of recent are trying to slow the March of Time.”

Sellinger looked at me wide eyed. I held up a hand so she would not stop my chain of thought, “Consider an undocumented worker form say, Guatemala, in the Commonwealth of Virginia who is 19 years old and becomes pregnant with twins. According to Virginia HB 1 her fetuses are now free to ‘ enjoy all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of the Commonwealth, subject only to the laws and constitutions of Virginia and the United States, precedents of the United States Supreme Court, and provisions to the contrary in the statutes of the Commonwealth.’ That is they are de jure citizens, the are the ‘Natural Unborn,’ of both the Commonwealth of Virginia and the United States of America, from the moment of conception. This then does more to tear down the hope that the ‘browning of America’ can be slowed because there is no measure that demands non brown women have more pregnancies. Conservatives who write such legislation still believe that there are more of those who think like them and that their women are still getting pregnant, but choosing to abort, and in this they are patently incorrect. If they wanted to pass a rule to increase their number they simply need to mandate that conservative women must get pregnant beofre the age of 21 and never have an abortion.”

“That would be illegal!” Sellinger snapped.

“Precisely,” I said and I picked up my plate and waived a waiter over to reheat my meal.

QWu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Cavalor Epþiþ, Esquire, O.B.R.E., O.D.A.J.[1er], O.Q.H.[Journ.], D.S.V.J., J.F.
Editor-in-Chief
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
76 Ravenshade 2 AS

BREAKING NEWS: MSNBC IS REPORTING THAT RICK SANTORUM WAS THE WINNER IN THE IOWA CAUCUSES

Posted in Uncategorized on 19/01/2012 by Majordomo Pain

Contessa Brewer of MSNBC has Tweeted:

Well, maybe not so boring when Iowa swaps caucus winners. Now Santorum’s declared the victor.

The Des Moines register confirms this tweet with Santorum ahead by 34 votes.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
45 Ravenshade 2 AS

2011 in review

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on 03/01/2012 by Majordomo Pain

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 120,000 times in 2011. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 5 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

RESTARTING THE ENGINE OF CAPITALISM IS UP TO THE CAPITALISTS

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on 31/12/2011 by carltonpryor

I read this post at Blogs4victory about what needs to be done to get America’s economy going again and I was taken aback by how general and dangerous it was. here’s the upshot:

 

My personal feeling is that three of the most critical things that have to happen are (1) a national energy plan that promotes both energy independence and abundant, economical energy; (2) revamping our tax structure to make it simpler, broader based, more equitable and, most important, predictable over a reasonably lengthy period of time; and (3) revamp government regulations from top to bottom. In a sentence, we need to get away from a system that penalizes success and rewards failure to one that does the exactly the opposite.

Taking this point by point I will begin with the suggestion that the United States of America cannot be energy self sufficient if that means relying on oil from the United States alone. The nation needs 21 million bbl per day to keep the nation running. America has become a net exporter of refined petroleum products and still the price of crude oil has not dropped below $90 per bbl in quite some time. For conservatives this might be a disconnect for economists it isn’t at all. America needs to put an honest effort inot weaning itself not only off fossil fuels but of plastics as well. create jobs in industries that use wood and metal and you would have a fine start. Move toward a greener economy and you will be out of this oily mess in ten years.

The taxation question is a dog whistle to be sure. I can solve this issue with the stroke of a pen. Make the top tax rate for individuals making more than 1 million per year at 45%. The next rate would be set at 35 percent for those making more than $750,000. Those making more than $350,000 the rate would be 30%. For earners making more than 150,000 a year the rate would be 25%. Those making more than $50,000 would be taxed at a 15% rate and finally those making less than $50,000 a year would be taxed at a 10% rate. Problem solved.

This year if you make $50,000 per year your tax rate is 25%, if you make $150,000 it is 28%. Both of these groups would get tax relief because they are the ones that need it. Even a guy making $749,999 a year would get a 5% tax savings. Only those in the highest income tax bracket would see and increase of 10%.

And on government regulation this I can get on board with. We need more regulation in hedge funds, in health care in the environment and in a myriad of other places so America will actually be a place where workers will want to live and grow families.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Carlton Pryor, D.S.V.E., O.Q.H.[Econ.].
Lead Economist
TED-OG
27 Ravenshade 2 AS

HAYLE CACCIATORE, FRIEND OF SHELBY DASHER SPEAKS TO THE PRESS

Posted in Uncategorized on 16/11/2011 by Majordomo Pain

A friend of Shelby Dasher speaks about the death of Tyler Dasher and how Shelby and her son got along.

Qu’ul cuda pradex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
242 4 Leviathan 2 AS

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