Archive for the Uncategorized Category

THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF FETAL PERSONHOOD IN THE COMMONWEALTH OF VIRGINIA

Posted in CONSERVATIVE FEAR, CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, COUNTER-THEOCRACY, FEARSPEAK, FETAL PERSONHOOD, GOP MELTDOWN, HOW HELL WORKS, SEX, TEA PARTY, THEOCRACY, Uncategorized, VULCA, WHITE PRIVILEGE with tags , , , , , , , , , on 22/02/2012 by Cavalor Epthith, Esquire, D.S.V.J

I could not enjoy a late supper at Vulca last night with two of my colleagues from the paper without being interrupted and ask a legal question about Virginia’s bid to enact a fetal personhood law. The questions came like a shower of brimstone. “Would it pass federal scrutiny?” “Is it legal?” “Could fetuses enter into contracts?” And there were sillier and worse questions that I will not even go into at this time.

By the time Joy Sellinger, a junior partner at Pinchon-Davies, the legal experts retained by The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork, plopped down next to Diane Valencen I looked down at my cold, half eaten leepoo cordon bleu and explained a few things. I set down my knife and fork, wiped my mouth and picked up the wine glass and drained the wonderful Medoc that had been suggested by Claudette Teroux, Vulca’s sommelier. I turned my head and cast my gaze upon Ms Sellinger and I spoke.

“What do you think the purpose of fetal personhood legislation is in the United States?”

Sellinger thought for a oment like any good trial lawyer would do and said, “To use emotion to prevent women from having abortions.”

I cocked my head to the side and replied, “Joy, stop thinking like a member of the Hellac Bar for one minute.” I leaned toward her and whispered, “The purpose is to increase a decreasing dempgraphic. That is the bigger picture. That is what all the anti-contraception law talk is about; demographic shifts which in an age of nearly universal suffrage means voting power which is legislative power that was once held firmly in the hands of a certain group. Seeing the decline in birth rates among this privileged group and the radical increase in birth rates among those who have never held the scepter of power in the United States the States, severally due to conservative turn in state legislatures of recent are trying to slow the March of Time.”

Sellinger looked at me wide eyed. I held up a hand so she would not stop my chain of thought, “Consider an undocumented worker form say, Guatemala, in the Commonwealth of Virginia who is 19 years old and becomes pregnant with twins. According to Virginia HB 1 her fetuses are now free to ‘ enjoy all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of the Commonwealth, subject only to the laws and constitutions of Virginia and the United States, precedents of the United States Supreme Court, and provisions to the contrary in the statutes of the Commonwealth.’ That is they are de jure citizens, the are the ‘Natural Unborn,’ of both the Commonwealth of Virginia and the United States of America, from the moment of conception. This then does more to tear down the hope that the ‘browning of America’ can be slowed because there is no measure that demands non brown women have more pregnancies. Conservatives who write such legislation still believe that there are more of those who think like them and that their women are still getting pregnant, but choosing to abort, and in this they are patently incorrect. If they wanted to pass a rule to increase their number they simply need to mandate that conservative women must get pregnant beofre the age of 21 and never have an abortion.”

“That would be illegal!” Sellinger snapped.

“Precisely,” I said and I picked up my plate and waived a waiter over to reheat my meal.

QWu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Cavalor Epþiþ, Esquire, O.B.R.E., O.D.A.J.[1er], O.Q.H.[Journ.], D.S.V.J., J.F.
Editor-in-Chief
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
76 Ravenshade 2 AS

BREAKING NEWS: MSNBC IS REPORTING THAT RICK SANTORUM WAS THE WINNER IN THE IOWA CAUCUSES

Posted in Uncategorized on 19/01/2012 by Majordomo Pain

Contessa Brewer of MSNBC has Tweeted:

Well, maybe not so boring when Iowa swaps caucus winners. Now Santorum’s declared the victor.

The Des Moines register confirms this tweet with Santorum ahead by 34 votes.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
45 Ravenshade 2 AS

2011 in review

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on 03/01/2012 by Majordomo Pain

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 120,000 times in 2011. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 5 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

RESTARTING THE ENGINE OF CAPITALISM IS UP TO THE CAPITALISTS

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on 31/12/2011 by carltonpryor

I read this post at Blogs4victory about what needs to be done to get America’s economy going again and I was taken aback by how general and dangerous it was. here’s the upshot:

 

My personal feeling is that three of the most critical things that have to happen are (1) a national energy plan that promotes both energy independence and abundant, economical energy; (2) revamping our tax structure to make it simpler, broader based, more equitable and, most important, predictable over a reasonably lengthy period of time; and (3) revamp government regulations from top to bottom. In a sentence, we need to get away from a system that penalizes success and rewards failure to one that does the exactly the opposite.

Taking this point by point I will begin with the suggestion that the United States of America cannot be energy self sufficient if that means relying on oil from the United States alone. The nation needs 21 million bbl per day to keep the nation running. America has become a net exporter of refined petroleum products and still the price of crude oil has not dropped below $90 per bbl in quite some time. For conservatives this might be a disconnect for economists it isn’t at all. America needs to put an honest effort inot weaning itself not only off fossil fuels but of plastics as well. create jobs in industries that use wood and metal and you would have a fine start. Move toward a greener economy and you will be out of this oily mess in ten years.

The taxation question is a dog whistle to be sure. I can solve this issue with the stroke of a pen. Make the top tax rate for individuals making more than 1 million per year at 45%. The next rate would be set at 35 percent for those making more than $750,000. Those making more than $350,000 the rate would be 30%. For earners making more than 150,000 a year the rate would be 25%. Those making more than $50,000 would be taxed at a 15% rate and finally those making less than $50,000 a year would be taxed at a 10% rate. Problem solved.

This year if you make $50,000 per year your tax rate is 25%, if you make $150,000 it is 28%. Both of these groups would get tax relief because they are the ones that need it. Even a guy making $749,999 a year would get a 5% tax savings. Only those in the highest income tax bracket would see and increase of 10%.

And on government regulation this I can get on board with. We need more regulation in hedge funds, in health care in the environment and in a myriad of other places so America will actually be a place where workers will want to live and grow families.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Carlton Pryor, D.S.V.E., O.Q.H.[Econ.].
Lead Economist
TED-OG
27 Ravenshade 2 AS

HAYLE CACCIATORE, FRIEND OF SHELBY DASHER SPEAKS TO THE PRESS

Posted in Uncategorized on 16/11/2011 by Majordomo Pain

A friend of Shelby Dasher speaks about the death of Tyler Dasher and how Shelby and her son got along.

Qu’ul cuda pradex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
242 4 Leviathan 2 AS

DEATH BY GINGRICH

Posted in Uncategorized on 16/11/2011 by Cavalor Epthith, Esquire, D.S.V.J

While no one at the Democratic National Committe would likely admit it, certainly not its chairwoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz [the likely Democratic VP nominee in 2016.--D.V.], they would love to have President Barack Obama run against Newt Gingrich in 2012. The problem is that the GOP establishment does not want to have to defend the personal actions of Mr Gingrich and they also understand that their base, moving more and more to the Right every day, cannot deal with this man’s superior intellect and academic manner any more can they tolerate the same from the sitting President. Newt Gingrich might press all the right buttons in debates but as far as his ability to be elected President go this man pales in comparison to Mitt Romney.

I would be less than a qualified demon journalist if I did not point out that I do not believe that Romney can win either but that is another topic for another time. It appears that a few pundits on the Right are doing just what I thought they would do as the winnowing of the GOP field took place. First Michele Bachmann was the darling of the TEA Party until she was eclipsed by Rick Perry. Perry has gaffed himself to political death and then Herman Cain rose to challenge the certainty of Romney’s nomination. Now Cain’s ignorance of foreign policy and his alleged harassment of woman have damaged his brand irreparably. The only choice left to the ultra conservative Obama haters is Newt Gingrich and this choice is the choice between cyanide or strychnine.

Gingrich has a life history that reads like a wet dream for Plouffe and Axelrod. All the fabrications aside the man has gone from marrying his high school teacher 7 years his senior at the age of 19 to committing adultery twice and marrying his mistress both times. For anyone else being involved in an adulterous affair in the midst of a Presidential impeachment proceedings would have ended their political career. At the time Gingrich was force to step down as House Speaker. The day he left that post disqualified him for the presidency once and for all.

The TEA Party will be the death of the GOP. For a time I was in disbelief that this comedy of errors has lasted so long. Now with the Right wing blogosphere trumpeting their new man Newt leading in a recently released Public Policy Polling national poll it appears that conservatives are growing more and willing to give back the mantle of power to President Obama simply as Hades City Desk Editor H L Mencken has said, “It’s easier to bash Barack than it is to risk governing for four years by TEA Party standards.”

While I agree that Newt Gingrich is without equal as a conservative intellectual he will have a difficult time getting his message across to a base that is decidedly anti-intellectual. The base will be very uncomfortable with his personal failings and his buffet style treatment of religion have gone from Luthern to Baptist to Catholic over the course of his life. The bottom line is his rise is just another bubble from the depths of a rather shallow pot that is the GOP field and at the end of this process the ticket will be Romney/Rubio 2012. If conservative TEA Party voters can put aside their religious bigotry and Romney is willing to go negative and cater to their racial bigotry the GOP could save itself from Newt Gingrich and the TEA Party for at least four years.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Cavalor Epþiþ, Esquire, O.B.R.E., O.D.A.J.[1er], O.Q.H.[Journ.], D.S.V.J., J.F.
Editor-in-Chief
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
242 4 Leviathan 2 AS

WHY THE LEFT HAS NO NEED FOR DEATH PANELS

Posted in CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, GOP MELTDOWN, PRESIDENT OBAMA, TEA PARTY, THE MEDITATORS, Uncategorized, WHITE PRIVILEGE on 09/11/2011 by Majordomo Pain

A TEA Party member and Cain supporter speaks what remains of her mind.

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
235 4 Leviathan 2 AS

JOE PATERNO SHOULD NOT BE FORCED TO RESIGN; PENN STATE SHOULD GET A 10 YEAR FOOTBALL DEATH PENALTY

Posted in DAWN PATROL, HOW HELL WORKS, JOE PATERNO, THE MEDITATORS, Uncategorized on 09/11/2011 by Majordomo Pain

The bad actors in the case of accused child rapist and former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky do not include in our opinion head football coach Joe Paterno. We, Ourselves, of the Collective are convinced that legally Mr Paterno did what he was duty bound to do by taking what he knew when he knew it to the Penn State Athletic Director, Tim Curley. What took place after this event would make the College of Cardinals blush from the brute force of unconcern at such serious allegations.

Reading the 23 page document of charges against Sandusky is difficult enough. Realizing that these events took place on the Penn State campus within the football team’s inner sanctum makes it an even deeper abomination. Had Tim Curley and Penn State President Graham Spanier done what was right and reported what they knew to local law enforcement these crimes would have been exposed a lustrum ago.

Now the only fitting punishment for men who felt that covering up this serial rape of children was more important than having their football program scrutinized is to have their football program taken away for ten years. In the 2021 season Penn State can return to college football as a FCS independent team for three seasons before reapplying to the FBS. Even though it cannot return the innocence back to these young men that was taken this will change the thinking of future ADs and university presidents in regard to “the program” over Justice.

Qu’ul cuda pradex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
235 4 Leviathan 2 AS

SARAH PALIN DECIDES TO STAY IN WHOREHOUSE AND NOT RUN FOR WHITE HOUSE IN 2012

Posted in BREAKING NEWS, TEA PARTY, Uncategorized on 06/10/2011 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

We knew this all along didn’t we? Liberals wanted this matchup between Obama and Palin too much. When you want something this big this much you rarely ever get it I’m just glad that this decision by Sarah Palin isn’t having an immediate impact on Lisa Ann’s doppelganger film career.


The former Alaska Governor and VP candidate sent the following letter to her supporters on Wednesday:

October 5, 2011
Wasilla, Alaska

After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.

My decision is based upon a review of what common sense Conservatives and Independents have accomplished, especially over the last year. I believe that at this time I can be more effective in a decisive role to help elect other true public servants to office – from the nation’s governors to Congressional seats and the Presidency. We need to continue to actively and aggressively help those who will stop the “fundamental transformation” of our nation and instead seek the restoration of our greatness, our goodness and our constitutional republic based on the rule of law.

From the bottom of my heart I thank those who have supported me and defended my record throughout the years, and encouraged me to run for President. Know that by working together we can bring this country back – and as I’ve always said, one doesn’t need a title to help do it.

I will continue driving the discussion for freedom and free markets, including in the race for President where our candidates must embrace immediate action toward energy independence through domestic resource developments of conventional energy sources, along with renewables. We must reduce tax burdens and onerous regulations that kill American industry, and our candidates must always push to minimize government to strengthen the economy and allow the private sector to create jobs.

Those will be our priorities so Americans can be confident that a smaller, smarter government that is truly of the people, by the people, and for the people can better serve this most exceptional nation.

In the coming weeks I will help coordinate strategies to assist in replacing the President, re-taking the Senate, and maintaining the House.

Thank you again for all your support. Let’s unite to restore this country!

God bless America.

– Sarah Palin

 


In Hindsight

Palin is going to take the money and run; while it lasts. In three years she will be a curious footnote of American politics safe and sound in her home in Alaska with the millions she’s earned from the ill-informed conservative common man. Maybe the esgtablishment GOP will anger her with enough anti-Sarah editorials that she will feel the need to run as a TEA Party candidate just to screw them.  Had Sarah Palin run for the White House she would have been scrutinized every day and her past dredged up yet again. There are many things about this woman that the public does not know that would make her walk out of the Oval Office and resign the White House just as they caused her to resign as Governor of Alaska. America does not need that. What America needs is a second chance at governing itself rather than having Goldman Sachs, Bechtel, Exxon Mobil and Kraft Foods make all your political decisions for you.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
202 4 Levithan 2 AS

GUNMAN IN CUPERTINO RAMPAGE IDENTIFIED AS SHAREEF ALLMAN; THIRD CRIME SCENE BEING INVESTIGATED

Posted in BREAKING NEWS, CRIME BLOTTER, DAWN PATROL, SHAREEF ALLMAN, Uncategorized on 05/10/2011 by Majordomo Pain

NBC San Francisco is reporting the police have identified the gunman as Shareef Allman of San Jose, California.

Allman is said to be still at large and heavily armed with at least one fully automatic weapon and a handgun.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
201 4 Leviathan 2 AS

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