I was sitting here at home watching Al Pacino on David Letterman watching my spouse, Vicki, dozing off on the couch when the story of former Miss Teen Delaware Melissa King wouldn’t let me enjoy the banter on the TV screen. I couldn’t let go of the gnawing noise in my head that kept asking why the choice of an adult woman who did a sex film was news and why it was news that took up so many column inches and digital space on the Internet? Well, for one, it involves sex. And, two, it involves the outdated notions of “purity” in American society.

Miss teen Delaware sex tape.

Why isn’t there a popular Mister Teen pageant in America? There isn’t because no one in the misogynistic American moral industry can recognize a need for there to be a symbol of masculine American purity outside of the evangelical industry. Yes, for all of my readers that is a joke because anyone who has a brain in the United States knows there is no such purity standard for male clergy in Terra’s wealthiest nation. Just drink the Kool-Aid and ignore all the abuse. Nothing to see here folks, move along please. Mind the gap.

To me this entire case and the Mainstream Media’s desire to smear this young woman as if she’d done something truly harmful to society as a whole beyond the allegation she drank while underage and tried to steal money from a city bus cash box is ludicrous. There’s that noise again–why is this news? You can see in the video that this sex tape is at best vanilla as porn goes. It’s not rocky road, it’s not black walnut it definitely isn’t a romp through a Ben & Jerry’s plant covered in sprinkles and a shower hose of hot sticky caramel. My point is Miss Teen Delaware? Who cares? I would challenge any of the readers of this post to name a Miss Teen USA who has never been a co-host on the show Wipeout without using Google.

Even the producers of the video have come out saying that King’s performance was “frigid.” Frigid? Really? I have to question the motivation behind the use of that word, but that would take us down a new and more time consuming rabbit hole than this writer is willing to explore at this late hour. My main problem right now is trying to give this piece a title that isn’t an overreach toward titillation or an effort to pun my way to another CoalSack™ Award. Let me be the second to say Melissa King, you rock, take the cash You Porn is offering you and hone your skills and become an advocate for everything that the Pageant Industry doesn’t stand for in its blind need to do for right wing dinosaurs what porn does without the fun of seeing many square meters of bare flesh.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Editorial Page Editor
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
192 Low Lux Negro 2 AS

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