General of the Skies Nuulo Isdrix has asked for a broadening of his office’s powers to investigate the origin and perpetrators of the chemical attacks in Syria this past August. In a statement at his press briefing this morning Isdrix, said, “While there is clarity from those who die in these attacks that there was a treaty banned chemical agent or agents used, this office cannot, at this time confirm the Assad government gave the orders and mounted them. With that in mind I am appealing to the Crown Fiery for a brief period of extraordinary powers to investigate this matter with agents on Terra for the purpose of clarifying the legal course of punishment for the Souls responsible.”

As on Terra there has been heated debate here in Hell’s capital, Dis, regarding President Barack Obama’s desire to strike militarily against Syria for their violation of the ban on the use of chemical weapons. Speaking in the Bax Culdnu this morning Lord Vellocque Basilisk Cantharidin detailed the irony of how this matter has been viewed differently from that of the run up to the war in Iraq in 2003, “I see nothing more than a partisan removal of the scales from the eyes of the opposition in this matter. Ten years ago, these very same personages were arguing on some very thin evidence that America was just in striking in Iraq. Today with similarly thin evidence they are willing and asking for more information, for weapons inspectors to return to Syria and for the people to protest this action in defense of international norms. While this shows a powerful and deeply partisan hypocrisy, I stand here in this august chamber to state clearly that I too see no need for America to involve itself in a folly of missiles that will do nothing positive in the region.”

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
114 Colnu 2 AS

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