We, Ourselves, of The Collective, as a public service, or in this case a pubic service, will bring you the stories that were buried because of the major news events of the week. Likely had the major stories not taken place this story would have sucked the oxygen out of the 24 hour news cycle for at least two Terran standard days. Let Us begin:

Bristol Palin, the daughter of conservative media whore former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is once again pregnant outside of the family values of her family. Miss Palin, who has never been married but whose parents have raised their children that sex before marriage is un-Christian, not to mention embarrassing politically, has as Maarit Outi Pekkonen of the HBC program Overdark put it so eloquently, “has fucked and caught for the second time.”

We, Ourselves, do take to task all three Progressive bloggers that have referred to Bristol Palin as a slut or a whore. This is the sort of shaming that leads to Republicans being elected governor in blue states. This shit needs to stop and stop now. A slut, a whore, no, a paid hypocrite, maybe.

That is the story for the most part; Bristol Palin likes to fuck and does not care to use birth control because, well she likes the feel of a condomless penis inside her and taking those birth control pills are so against her mother’s religious beliefs. No word on who the father is though there are a myriad of reasons for this. The family may not want anyone to know who the father is because that might be more embarrassing, or simply Bristol may have many partners and not know who the father is which is also embarrassing to the Palin Profit Machine. Either way, The Collective does not care. We, Ourselves, just want Bristol Palin to be happy and if getting pregnant makes her happy we hope she has 20 kids.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Journ.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
54 Hov’ish 3 AS


  1. Her mother faked a pregnancy with her supposed child Trig. Which is medical shorthand for trisomy G. These white trash assholes need to be exposed for the disgusting duplicitous cunts that they are. They should be excoriated in the court of public opinion. And buried as horrible,inconsequential people. Fuck you Palins!

    • It has been proven that Trig is Sarah Palin’s child. The greater story here is about how conservatives are losing their children politically as the offspring move on from their parents’ values.

      [q c p n!]

  2. neocon01 Says:

    BFD……meanwhile barry sucks dicks and does cocaine in the white hut

    • This is your ill informed opinion. Possession of cocaine would be a federal crime. We have seen no arrest report or indictment to this direction therefore it is false. Fellatio? Who cares? How does performing oral sex on another man make anyone less of a Human Being? If one starts here as a measure of being “less than” where does one stop? You and ISIS have this in common a hatred for things with which you find discomfort because of your deluded religious beliefs.

  3. neocon01 Says:

    “The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions, it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. … What country before ever existed a century and half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.”

    ― Thomas Jefferson, Letters of Thomas Jefferson

    • So violence against the government because you cannot control the lives and love of people you do not know is the solution Neocon01? You sound like the Charleston Shooter! We, Ourselves, are appalled.

      • Consider the source. Bill routeenly prays for the death of others. Wouldn’t it be ironic if he met his fate at the hands of a black gay Muslim heroin addict. Who had a cc license.

      • neocon01 Says:

        and you sound like louis faracan majordumbo

      • neocon01 Says:

        and bmitch it would be delicious if you murdered your pancreas….OH wait!

    • Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.] Says:

      No Bill I think conservatives are natural enough manure. Which is a good thing in a way this way you can be the shit!

      • neocon01 Says:

        the only shit is on the end of your dick after fucking you homo lover…

  4. neocon01 Says:

    there is no such thing bmitch, well there is no indication that bathhouse barry has a ccw, the rest yup

  5. Give it up Viet Nam. My pancreas is fine. So quit. You can’t outsmart me. Or out insult me primarily because your a low IQ guy and I’m not. 🙂

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