The title of this post is unproven yet but my staff and I are working on it. Even members of the military former and current are having a bit of trouble with this one. I was in the military in Vietnam when I was alive and back then it didn’t matter who the President was if they wanted to keep you in the shit you didn’t like them. Things have changed significantly in the past fifty years or so and now ideological politics as a deeply held belief is a form of combat all its own. Take for example the meme that’s been traveling around the Internet terrestrially for the past 22 hours or so. This meme states, in an effort to show how much support he United States Marine Corps has for Donald Trump, a conservative view of a dislike for a former President Barack Obama. Like he cares at this point.

Once again to put this into context I’ll have to use a popular culture reference that many of you may be unfamiliar with. I was introduced, just yesterday, to an animated Netflix show called “Bojack Horseman”. The show tells the story of a down on his luck actor who happens to be half man and half horse. Bojack is the surly type of has been who soothes his pain at the prospect of his waning popularity with alcohol and casual sex. The real point of all of this is that Bojack is a touchstone for and a mirror upon modern American culture. In the last episode I watched Bojack goes to the grocery store and finds himself confronted with apple muffins sitting among produce and picks them up. A seal (yes the anthropomorphic kind) comes out of the store’s bathroom and says he has “dibs” on the muffins and just set them there to go relieve himself. Bojack takes offense and an argument ensues. Not really wanting the muffins in the forst place, Bojack simply does what many Americans would do in this situation– he defaults to being a dick.

It turns out that the seal is a naval office named Neal McBeal, a captain in the US Navy and an Afghanistan veteran just back home from deployment. Yes, dear readers it gets better from here. Appearing on MSNBSea ( get it?) with an anchor whale voiced by the guru of television hubric projection Keith Olbermann, Captain McBeal relates the story of the muffin stealing and Horseman’s blatant disregard for “dibs.” Bojack, against all advice he is given by his agent and the ghost writer of his tell all book, calls into the station and basically says that well all of the troops aren’t heroes some of them are jerks. A firestorm of epic media proportions ensues. Watch the scene below.

Now back to the meme giving the drug addled and the angry and the bigoted yet another meaningless warm fuzzy this warm morning here in Hell. There isn’t any way I can say this any better than Bojack did. I served in the US military and I know that every one who has served has sacrificed something if nothing but their time and freedom. But to simply bow at the feet of every member of the US military and grovel constantly about how much conservative “support” them means nothing at all. If these people really wanted to support their men and women past and present they would demand, as I did of President Obama, that the broken VA system be fixed and that every homeless veteran on the streets of the so-called greatest nation on Terra be washed, clothed, fed and sheltered at the expense of those bloated overpaid hooligans in the United States Congress.

In Hindsight

Melania Trump as the First Lady might have inspired a few thousand Marines to prefer 8th & I over Camp Leatherneck but even if every Marine had applied to stand at attention when Marine 1 landed and salute the Donald it would be once again at the risk of over using the word meaningless. Just this past week a Marine colonel who was relieved of duty waived an Article 32 hearing having been accused of raping a minor girl. There is on example of not being a hero among many because “The Troops” come from “The People.” These are the same people who were misguided, stupid, high or drunk enough to vote for a man who has no political experience whatsoever. This flies in the face of the literal pounds of digital data vomited at Progressives that then Senator Barack Obama didn’t have enough experience to be commander-in-chief. By comparison with the blunder and bluster of Trump, the first month of Obama’s presidency seems like a calm afternoon on the beaches of San Junipero with Mackenzie Davis. I cannot stress enough that this White House, and the people that so desperately wanted a victory over a man who will never run for another elected office, is a cancer on the buttocks of freedom, justice and equality on the planet in which you live. It may not happen today, it may not happen tomorrow but in time a crisis will come and the Trump White House will fail to rise to the occasion and Human Beings will sadly pay with their lives.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
184 3 Leviathan 3 AS


  1. neocon01 Says:

    you are the party of cowards, traitors, liars, racists, and homosexuals, and muslims,,… see bathhouse barry the PUKE POS, NO Marine liked.

  2. Dogman Says:

    Selection for Presidential Guard is usually done at boot camp. Senior Marines from the Presidential Guard program fly to each boot camp to screen marines for this duty. The initail screening process is long and eliminates most Marines. The screening process starts by bringing all Marines who are 03XX – Infantry to a breif. During the breif, the duty is explained and any Marine who does not wish to join is free to leave. The program is 100% volunteer. All Marines who wish to try out for the program have to meet certain criteria. The Marine can not be married or have any dependants. Criminal records must be relatively clean, but are considered on a case by case basis. The Marine must have a first class PFT score and not be over weight standards. Major debt also disqualifies you from the program. When your Marine makes it through the initial screening, they will proceed to the secondary screening. While at the second screening, each Marine is spoken to on a one to one basis to determine further eligibility. The final step is a formal interview with a board, consisting of officers and staff nco’s of presidential guard. Questions during this interview are random and sometimes “off the wall” to determine how the Marine reacts to different situations. Bearing and trustworthyness are also evaluated during this time. If your Marine is selected for the program, the final step is to fill out the nessisary paperwork. One thing to note: marines serving in this duty must extend their contracts to 5 years active duty.

    After SOI, your Marine will attend security forces school in chesapeake, VA. The school is 6 weeks long, but many marines get stuck there for up to 5 months. The school’s class sizes are small and marines have to wait to pick up with a class. While waiting, some marines get RA while others do working partys.

    After compleation of SF school, your Marine will be sent to Marine Barracks 8th and I in Washington, D.C. The time spent here all depends on how fast the Top Secret clearance processes. The clearances have become completely automated instead of paper, so clearances are going through much faster than they used to. The normal time is between 6 months and a year. Dont be worried if the clearance is taking a long time, the initial screening process disqualifies almost all people who will not clear.

    While at 8th and I, your Marine will be performing guard duty at the base. They will learn more advanced techniques and mission specific rules during there time here. The work schedules are long and sometimes chaotic, but your Marine will have plenty of time to see all the wonderful things in the DC area. During parade season, guard works very long days, so dont be worried if you dont hear from your Marine as often as you would like to. It will get better as time goes on.

    When your Marines clearance goes through, they will be transfered to one of a few locations around the DC area. The furthest away is Camp David, while the others are close to 8th and I. Most guard Marines go to Camp David, but the other locations are still very nice. Don’t be offended when your Marine doesn’t tell you nearly as much about their duties as before, almost everything is classified to protect security.

    In total, presidential guard is a 3 year duty. The first year or so at 8th and I, and the remaining time at their final destination. After there 3 years, your Marine will PCS to an infantry unit and start their origional mos.

    If for some reason your Marines clearance never goes through, they will be utilized at 8th and I for there three years. Some stay in guard, but most are sent to a different section, including; PMO – provost marshalls office. Here they will still work with guard, but not standing posts. They will deal with training of guard marines, overall security, and a variety of other missions. Another common place to be sent is Grounds. Grounds is a section of maintenance, made up of marines origionally from guard or marching platoons. Grounds is responsible for the upkeep of the barracks, ranging from general landscaping to setting up for ceremonial functions such as parades. While this is not your Marines primary MOS, grounds is a good place to be as they encourage their marines to attend school in one of the many local universitys or online.

    Marines chosen for presidential guard are not allowed to be married or to have any dependants. If your Marine would like to be Married, they can submit for command approval once they have recieved their clearance and are transfered to one of the secondary locations. If your Marine does get married or adds a dependant while they are working at 8th and I, they will be removed from the presidential guard program and follow the same path as the marines who’s clearance doesnt process above.

    Presidential guard Marines will recieve extra uniforms when they arrive at 8th and I. They will get dress blues as well as dress whites. Marines at 8th and I are the only marines, under the rank of SSgt, who are allowed to wear ceremonial white trousers. It is considered an honor.

    8th and I is a very small base, as mentioned before. The px at the barracks carries food, cleaning supplies, and a few uniform and recreational items. Henderson Hall has a full px where your Marine can purchase all uniform items and other usual px goods. Bolling air force base has a commesary which is like a grocery store where your marines can purchase food at.

    All together, DC is a wonderful place to be stationed and is full of things to do. There are many museums, monuments, and historical places to see, as well as the opportunity to camp, fish, ride mountain bikes, visit amusement parks, and many other attractions close by. Vehicles are not as important as they are in other areas, because of the great public transportation system DC has. There is a subway which goes most places, as well as buses to many others.

    8th and I also has some of the best medical care available in the military. Basic sick call is a couple blocks away at Washington Navy Yard, and more serious injurys can be handled at either Bethesda National Naval Medical Center or Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Both are the best hospitals the military has to offer, and most seriously wounded warriors will be sent there for treatment once returning to the states.

    Lastly, Marines selected for presidential guard are considered some of the best the military has. To be accepted and recieve a Top Secret clearance is a great honor. Very few Marines have the opportunity to serve with presidential guard and only the top 0.1% of all Marines will have the chance. After successful completion of their dutys, Marines recieve a Presidential Support Badge. This decoration is a great honor, great enough that the badge representing this honor is serialized and issued to the Marine. These Badges can not be purchased anywhere, limiting counterfit use. The only way to recieve another PSB is to submit the proper paperwork and have a second serialized PSB personally delivered to you.

    If there is anything else you would like to know, feel free to ask away! i hope this answers your basic questions!

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