When I got up on the morning of the US presidential election I was miserable. When I met around 1900 on election night I was not laughing and smiling like the majority of my colleagues who felt an unnatural certainty that Hillary Clinton would be elected the 45th President of the United States in a landslide. By midnight the conference room in the Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork was empty save for Pain and I. Fred Schwartz had gone home to Valeri and Terri. Diane Valencen had gone home to Victoria and when she left she, like I, had tears in her eyes. The only way to describe how I felt as the northern Midwest turned its back on Hillary Clinton and gave an electoral victory to Donald J Trump was being raped while a tsunami 100 miles high was sweeping in to the coastline to destroy everything I’d ever loved.
This was the depth of my misery then but now in reflection I see the positives in the election result. So for the last two weeks while kids walked out of classrooms and protesters took to the streets in America I walked the streets of Dis talking to those whose First Lives have ended to get their reactions. I huddled with learned colleagues and scholars to assess what Trump can and cannot do. After this fortnight I have come to one conclusion and I will steal a catch phrase from Fred Schwartz, “The kids are alright.”
I have escaped the darkness of disappointment because the man that white angry voters wanted to “Make America Great Again” have gotten their wish. I have always been warned, both on Terra and here in Hell to be careful what you wish for, you just may get it. Just yesterday I took the taxibox to Hades to have lunch with HL Mencken at our favorite place Quijox’s Deli. Over the best Reuben sandwich in the afterlife Mencken and I talked about not how miserable we were but how important it was for Donald Trump to do a good job. For the American economy to improve and grow over the next four years was far more important than what political party was in power we both agreed. Bellies full and over a pair of really good beers we discussed the potential damage this election could do to the democracy that is the United States. Mencken felt it was the greatest gift potentially that the Democratic Party could ever get. I on the other hand was more conciliatory saying that if America prospered and by that I mean all of America prospered it would be worth it to enable the 65 million or so white bigots in America. At this Mencken laugh relating to me that I may have low balled that number but he got my point.
There will be many alt-right pundits on the terrestrial Internet that will be happy at knowing that I shed three days of tears following an election upon which I was unable to impart any action. I would urge caution in the coming years as their orgasmic glee turns to the fatigue that comes with having to defend their man’s actions. I did say earlier this terrestrial year that this was Trump’s election to lose. Now I have to say that it is just a matter of time as my tears have turned to a sly smile until Trump has to be the chief executive. Hillary Clinton will no longer be in jeopardy of being Impeached. All the arrogant, angry, stupid people who think like many Obama supporters in 2008 that their poverty, ignorance and hate will be rewarded materially will soon enough realize the limit of that executive office. While they may not have gone to the National Policy Institute your average white male supporter of Trump shared the beliefs of this organization. One would be a fool to think that Donald Trump is a white nationalist but his core base are white nationalist. The dog whistles of bigotry during the campaign will now have to go quiet if the man expects to be at best a small curious footnote in history or at worst the man who finally irrevocably destroys America along racial, gender and religious lines. Having Steve Bannon in the Presidential inner circle is not a good sign, but it is early days yet and now that I am smiling and can eat and am getting regular sleep I am back at my post and ready to hold President Trump to only one promise in paraphrase that he keep America great for all Americans.
Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!
Sarah Bloch, D.S.V.J., J.F., O.Q.H [Jur.]
Amici Bax Demvolu Comnu
Politics & Culture Wars Managing Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
89 3 Leviathan 3 AS