Archive for the TED CRUZ Category

THE SATURDAY MODEST PROPOSAL: A FEW MARKETING IDEAS TO HELP THE GOP WITH THEIR PRESIDENTIAL ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION

Posted in 2016 ELECTIONS, 2016 US ELECTION, DONALD TRUMP, GOP, GOP 2016 CAMPAIGN, GOP AS A MINORITY PARTY, GOP MELTDOWN, TED CRUZ on 26/03/2016 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fredschwartz1

It seems like it has been forever since the GOP occupied the White House doesn’t it? The GOP seems to be mired in the same swamp that the Democrats found themselves flailing in 1984 and 1988. Mondale and Dukakis were good men but presidential candidates? In hindsight, not so much. But as usual I am going tangential while simultaneously getting ahead of myself.

Obama reacts to Gingrich SC victory

The GOP base has grown tired of calling Barack Obama names and has left that buffet for the Elysian Fields of cannibalism. Yes, boys and girls the GOP has begun to use the same tactics they once used against Progressives on their own. Donald Trump has instigated a smear campaign against Ted Cruz via a scandalous, and untrue, account of marital infidelity published in the National Enquirer. That’s right the National Enquirer. This comes at the same time as a series of tweets that showed Heidi Cruz the wife of the GOP number two candidate side by side with Melania Trump. Well that’s not fair at all is it? I say that because number one the only reason Melania Trump is with Donald Trump is because he’s rich. Can we all agree on that? The two would have never met if he wasn’t so I think I win on that point. And as women married to conservative members of congress go Heidi Cruz is actually hot. Well in the same way that Kobe Bryant would be a superstar in the NBA over 35 game at next year’s All Star Game. Okay once again I digress.

Here is tip that will help the GOP get back on track and resolve the rifts within their own party and the gulf between Moderates and the three camps on the Right:

A politically branded ice cream flavor.

Everyone loves ice cream! Look how happy she is holding those sundaes! Her day is made! Okay enough exclamation points. They could come up with snappy patriotically nationalist names like “Border Wall Crunch” which would be vanilla with white chocolate sprinkles and a grey cone section that looks like cinderblock stuck on one side with a marzipan Mexican standing on the other side. Or maybe “Angry Voter” which would be vanilla with red white and blue sprinkles and a flaming cross [lit with Trump Vodka® made out of Popsicle sticks sitting prominently on top. The best one might actually “Cruz Cookie Dough Meltdown” a confection of vanilla ice cream vanilla cookie dough and vanilla sprinkles in a cone shaped like Melania Trump’s ass. That could united the GOP in minutes. And hey who doesn’t want to eat Melania Trump’s ass?

Melania Trump
In Hindsight

I have witnessed 15 campaigns for president since I was old enough to know what was going on and this year is the craziest I’ve seen. And that’s just on the GOP side. A race between Trump and Clinton will end in disaster for the GOP sending them once again back to the drawing board after the firing of Reince Priebus and calling in their political forensics team to do yet another election autopsy which will tell them they have to bring in more younger less white voters– and women. But we all know these are the things that the GOP doesn’t want to do. They want to be the party of the stupid, the angry, the bigoted, the intransigent screaming old fart, the mousy married middle aged white woman who is terrified of everything, the religious crackpot and the unstable gun owner. I knew the GOP would destroy itself before 2030 but I didn’t see Trump as the suicide bomber that would do the deed.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
77 High Lux Negro 3 AS

BREAKING NEWS: CRUZ CAMPAIGN DISCRIMINATES AGAINST ACTRESS AMY LINDSAY FOR HER SOFTCORE EROTIC FILM PAST

Posted in AMY LINDSAY, CONSERVATIVE RESISTANCE TO FACT CHECKING, GOP 2016 CAMPAIGN, GOP AS A MINORITY PARTY, GOP MELTDOWN, TED CRUZ on 12/02/2016 by Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.

Of course this will not come as a shock to anyone who has been watching politics in America in the last one hundred years, but it is noteworthy in the modern digital age. The Cruz campaign made a rather tame ad called Conservatives Anonymous which was running on Youtube and nationally on TV with one actress with a speaking part Amy Lindsay sitting in a group of disillusioned voters who are in a therapy session talking about how disappointed they are in the GOP field. Lindsay intones, “Maybe you should vote for more than just a pretty face.” At the end of the ad Ted Cruz comes on and says he approves the message. It’s all really tame but it does make a point.

The problem is that after auditioning for the ad and shooting the ad it was discovered that Amy Lindsay had been a softcore erotica star of some note along with roles in Pacific Blue and Star Trek: Voyager. The Cruz campaign has now taken the ad down because well, conservatives and SIMULATED SEX! To her credit Amy Lindsay is standing by her Christian Conservative values and views acting as a job not as a definition of a person’s values or worse a full meaning of who the person is. Conservatives are already falling all over themselves trying to figure out how the actress got the job and why she wasn’t vetted fully which means like most conservatives they were looking for a round peg to put in a round hole and they didn’t care where the peg had been until some of that peg’s travels could be embarrassing. And this is the part that’s scary about GOP politics. If the Cruz campaign can’t do a simple IMDB search to assure their Bible thumpin base doesn’t get red faced about the CV of an actress what will a Cruz staff do when faced with something that requires real in depth research?

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Editorial Page Editor
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
34 High Lux Negro 3 AS

THE CONSERVATIVE TAKE ON THE CULTURE WAR: “YEAH, YOU WON, PROGRESSIVES, BUT YOU CHEATED!”

Posted in 2014 ELECTIONS, 2016 ELECTIONS, ABORTION RIGHTS, ADVERTISING, AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE ACT, AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM, AMERICANS AGAINST THE TEA PARTY, ANDREW BRIETBART, ANGRY OLD WHITE MEN, BAD JOURNALISM, BIG LABOR, BIGOTRY, BREITBART, BREITBART IS STILL DEAD, CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION IN AMERICA?, CHRISTINA HENDRICKS, CIVIL RIGHTS, CLASS WARFARE, CLIVEN BUNDY, CONSERVATIVE ANTI-INTELLECTUALISM, CONSERVATIVE BIGOTRY, CONSERVATIVE DESPERATION, CONSERVATIVE FEAR, CONSERVATIVE HEADS EXPLODING, CONSERVATIVE HYPOCRISY, CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, CONSERVATIVE LIES, CONSERVATIVE NEWS, CONSERVATIVE OBSESSION WITH SEX, CONSERVATIVE RESISTANCE TO FACT CHECKING, CONSERVATIVE VIOLENCE, CONSERVATIVES ARE OLD AND DYING AND SCARED, COUNTER-SHAI'TANISM, COUNTER-THEOCRACY, CURRENT EVENTS, DEATH PANELS, DEBT CEILING, DOOMSDAY PREPPERS, DREAM ACT, ERIC HOLDER, FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL, FASCISM, FEARSPEAK, FETAL PERSONHOOD, FOX NEWS, FREEDOM, FUNDAMENTALISTS ACTING BADLY, GEORGE ZIMMERMAN, GLBTQ RIGHTS, GLENN BECK, GONZO JOURNALISM, GOP, GOP AS A MINORITY PARTY, GOP MELTDOWN, GUN CONTROL, GUN VIOLENCE IN AMERICA, HAPPINESS, HATE, HELL V. UNITED STATES, HELLAC CAMPAIGN TO END BIGOTRY, HERITAGE FOUNDATION, HILLARY CLINTON, HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT 2016, HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON 2016, HOMOPHOBIA, HOT MESS, HOW HELL WORKS, HOW THE RIGHT SEES THE 47%, HUMAN BEAUTY, HUMAN BEINGS, HUMAN RIGHTS, IMMIGRATION REFORM, JOURNALISM, JUSTICE, KARL ROVE, KEL'HESH'AR, LAAL HETHRI, LEGALIZE ADULT SEX WORK IN AMERICA, LIHEAP, MILEY CYRUS, MURDER SUICIDE, NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY, NEW YORK CITY DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND MENTAL HYGIENE, OBAMACARE, OBESITY IN AMERICA, OCCUPY DC, OCCUPY WALL STREET, OFFICE OF THE TORTURER GENERAL, PASTOR CHARLES PHELPS, PASTOR JACK SCHAAP, PASTOR TERRY JONES, PAUL RYAN, POLITICS, POLITICS IN THE BUFF, PRESIDENT OBAMA, PROGRESSIVES ON THE MARCH, REALITY CHECK, RELIGIOUS RIGHT, RUSH LIMBAUGH, RUSSIAN ANTI-HOMOSEXUALITY LAWS, SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE, SARAH BLOCH OPINIONS, SARAH PALIN, SEX, TEA PARTY, TECTONIC SHIFTS, TED CRUZ, THE AMERICAN TALIBAN, THE BEST OF TERRAN TV, THE BEST OF THE WEB, THE BLAZE, THE CANCER OF HATE, THE CULTURE WARS, THE GOP GENDER GAP, THE GREATER FOOL, THE HELLAC BILL OF RIGHTS, THE IGNORANT TENTH, THE SKY IS FALLING, THE TRIBALISM REPORT, THE WAR ON THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY, THE WAR ON WOMEN, THEOCRACY, THINGS THAT MAKE CONSERVATIVES ANGRY, TIM WISE, TODD AKIN, TOO BIG TO FAIL, TWERKING, U.S. ECONOMY, UNREST IN AMERICA, VOTER SUPPRESSION, WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE THIS SHIT UP, WE SEE YOU, WHITE PRIVILEGE, WINGNUT ROUNDUP, WOMEN'S RIGHTS with tags , , , on 16/04/2014 by sarahbloch

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I am currently reading John Nolte’s article on 11 reasons the Left has not won the Culture War at Breitbart.com. Simply reading this is making my day because I love to laugh in the morning. Millions of conservatives have likely read this today and more than a thousand have commented. Those comments will be covered by Fred Schwartz later in the day.

Nolte begins with same sex marriage which I see as a full faith and credit legal issue not a moral and religious one. I don’t think, however, that any shop owner has a right to refuse service to a gay couple anymore than they have the right to refuse service to a person based on their race, religion, gender or disability. The author feels that the “voice of the people” has been tossed out in favor of the rulings of “activist judges.” In a bizarre twist John Nolte points to a rise in “Christian entertainment” as proof that Americans really do not want people they do not know of the same sex to get married. The singular example is the film “Heaven is for Real” which has grossed nothing yet because the film is to be released today. Nolte’s point is that Sony TriStar Pictures has decided to release the film on a Wednesday in 2,417 theaters. This film and others like it are one point Nolte shows as proof that on the topic of same sex marriage the Right is winning. I will make a claim here: Heaven is for Real will not make more money between its premiere and the end of the box office weekend than “Transcendence” will make from its opening until Sunday night on a theater by theater basis.

The next Culture War issue is the legalization of marijuana. Both Washington state and Colorado have legalized the weed most notorious to conservatives and more states are moving to decriminalize small amounts. Most recently the state of Maryland did just that becoming the first state south of the Dixon-Line to decriminalize pot. Fourteen other states and the District of Columbia have also done so. Nolte does not address any of the medical reasons for pot use or even recreational ones as a justification for a victory here in the Culture war. Instead he states that abortion rights activists are on their heels quoting an article on Breitbart.com no less about a poll conducted by the Knights of Columbus regarding abortion rights. The Gallup Polling Service numbers show that those who view themselves as pro-Life vice those that are pro-Choice are nearly equal at 48% to 45%. The numbers of those seeing abortion as federally defined from the same poll vice those who do not believe abortion should be legal at all is 52% vice 20% as of May 2013. Nolte loses this battle as well.

Nolte sticks with entertainment decrying the amount of sex on television but reveling in what he calls the return of the masculine male on the National Geographic Channel. These shows according to the author “celebrate the working class and their traditional values.” What he really means is they celebrate being white, Christian and living in the woods or where it’s very cold. The next “reason” the Right is winning the Culture War is the ascendancy of Jimmy Fallon to the Tonight Show as a counter to Stephen Colbert stepping into David Letterman’s slot after his retirement next year. There is no rhyme or reason to this at all.

The next nugget reveals something about conservatives. They like strong male characters. Nolte point to Don Draper [Mad Men] Walter White [Breaking Bad] and Tony Soprano [The Sopranos] as examples of these. They are called “flawed” and “anti-heroes” and I imagine that takes the guilt away for all the nudity, sex, drugs and violence which conservative say they are against on TV.

More entertainment, really? Miley Cyrus is popular but unions are dying says Nolte. I fear conservatives may never come out of this irrational abyss. As if the weakness of unions in America is a good thing for those working class people they say they love?

Conservative media is on the upswing says Nolte. Well get back to me in 20 years when most Fox News viewers are either dead or senile or have slaughtered their family. There is a trend in there demographically if you just take the time to look.

Women are getting birth control but conservatives have their guns! This is awful. War on women much? The fear of the Other is oozing here.

Nolte sees more money in politics as a solution to what ails the Right politically. No John, the key would be to make your tent bigger. Oh, that’s right you can’t do that because you’d have to let in all those brown people, women and gay people on a level playing field.

Yes, Occupy is dead but given time the TEA Party will wither as well. I think the date on that tombstone will be somewhere around 1 February 2017.

What John Nolte needs is a time machine so he can return to that conservative era of his father the 1950s. Back then by conservative standards women were in their place (not barefoot and pregnant but seen and not heard), minorities were second class citizens and it was a crime to be gay. It must be awful for John Nolte to have to watch as all that unearned privilege is redistributed in the form of earned civil rights.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil

Sarah Bloch, D.S.V.J., J.F., O.Q.H [Jur.]
Amici Bax Demvolu Comnu
Politics & Culture Wars Managing Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
177 1 Leviathan 3 AS

TED CRUZ WINS VALUES VOTER SUMMIT STRAW POLL VICTORY SIGNALS THE END OF HIS CHANCES TO BE GOP PREZ NOMINEE IN 2016

Posted in TED CRUZ, VALUES VOTER SUMMIT with tags , , , , , on 14/10/2013 by Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.

diane_tomlinson_2

I have to thank the research staff for making what I suspected about the Values Voter Summit straw poll come to life. The winner of this poll of the fringe of the GOP base never wins the nomination in the next election cycle. The VVS poll is a flavor of the moment sort of poll that is rarely a good indicator of what the pulse of the GOP is. It is a good gauge of what the lunatics in the asylum want. This year their three most important issues were 1) religious liberty [read theocracy] 2) life [read anti-abortion] 3) ObamaCare [do I need to explain?]. This is very little changed since President Obama was successful in getting his signature piece of legislation passed.

There was a time when taxes were the big motivator for the religious right, but the group has never been able to have the guy that is their choice rise to become the nominee in the next election cycle. In 2007 Mitt Romney won the VVS straw poll but did not become the nominee until he beat the field in a war of attrition in the 2012 GOP primaries. That process should have been the bloodletting that purged the TEA Party from the GOP but the men in gray suits [Adelson, Koch Bros.] dug deeper into their pockets to support candidates who are even more out there than Ron Paul who was the VVS favorite in 2011.

In 2010 Mike Pence, the Governor of Indiana, won the VVS poll and many, both here in Hell and in the political prognostication business in America, see him as a favorite candidate for the GOP in 2016. Our current polling shows Pence getting 43% of the vote, against Hillary Clinton who would get 52% in a two way race and in a three way race with Ted Cruz as the third party candidate Pence would get 31% of the vote Cruz would get 17% and Clinton would get 49%. Pence has the advantage of doing good work in Indiana as governor, a evangelical religious history and little or no scandal that is swirling around him at this time. He has the disadvantage of being three years out from the election and outside evangelical circles he is a relative unknown due to his reluctance to run in 2008 and 2012.

The curiosity is that the second place finisher was Dr Ben Carson which like it or not Progressive readers needs to be taken seriously. Carson could become a serious VP pick by a third party if the GOP front runner going into 2015 is someone the fringe sees as a RINO [see Chris Christie, who by the way is the only potential candidate that comes close to defeating Hillary in any of the too soon to be polling polls I’ve seen.] As much as I don’t want to mention Sarah Palin I feel that it is important to let the readers know that since 2009 when she first appeared in the poll Palin has never fared well. She gained no votes this year signalling that at least to the fringe of the GOP base her political career is over.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Editorial Page Editor
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
148 Colnu 2 AS

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