Archive for the THE BEST OF THE WEB Category

THE CONSERVATIVE TAKE ON THE CULTURE WAR: “YEAH, YOU WON, PROGRESSIVES, BUT YOU CHEATED!”

Posted in 2014 ELECTIONS, 2016 ELECTIONS, ABORTION RIGHTS, ADVERTISING, AFFORDABLE HEALTH CARE ACT, AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM, AMERICANS AGAINST THE TEA PARTY, ANDREW BRIETBART, ANGRY OLD WHITE MEN, BAD JOURNALISM, BIG LABOR, BIGOTRY, BREITBART, BREITBART IS STILL DEAD, CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION IN AMERICA?, CHRISTINA HENDRICKS, CIVIL RIGHTS, CLASS WARFARE, CLIVEN BUNDY, CONSERVATIVE ANTI-INTELLECTUALISM, CONSERVATIVE BIGOTRY, CONSERVATIVE DESPERATION, CONSERVATIVE FEAR, CONSERVATIVE HEADS EXPLODING, CONSERVATIVE HYPOCRISY, CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, CONSERVATIVE LIES, CONSERVATIVE NEWS, CONSERVATIVE OBSESSION WITH SEX, CONSERVATIVE RESISTANCE TO FACT CHECKING, CONSERVATIVE VIOLENCE, CONSERVATIVES ARE OLD AND DYING AND SCARED, COUNTER-SHAI'TANISM, COUNTER-THEOCRACY, CURRENT EVENTS, DEATH PANELS, DEBT CEILING, DOOMSDAY PREPPERS, DREAM ACT, ERIC HOLDER, FAMILY RESEARCH COUNCIL, FASCISM, FEARSPEAK, FETAL PERSONHOOD, FOX NEWS, FREEDOM, FUNDAMENTALISTS ACTING BADLY, GEORGE ZIMMERMAN, GLBTQ RIGHTS, GLENN BECK, GONZO JOURNALISM, GOP, GOP AS A MINORITY PARTY, GOP MELTDOWN, GUN CONTROL, GUN VIOLENCE IN AMERICA, HAPPINESS, HATE, HELL V. UNITED STATES, HELLAC CAMPAIGN TO END BIGOTRY, HERITAGE FOUNDATION, HILLARY CLINTON, HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT 2016, HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON 2016, HOMOPHOBIA, HOT MESS, HOW HELL WORKS, HOW THE RIGHT SEES THE 47%, HUMAN BEAUTY, HUMAN BEINGS, HUMAN RIGHTS, IMMIGRATION REFORM, JOURNALISM, JUSTICE, KARL ROVE, KEL'HESH'AR, LAAL HETHRI, LEGALIZE ADULT SEX WORK IN AMERICA, LIHEAP, MILEY CYRUS, MURDER SUICIDE, NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY, NEW YORK CITY DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND MENTAL HYGIENE, OBAMACARE, OBESITY IN AMERICA, OCCUPY DC, OCCUPY WALL STREET, OFFICE OF THE TORTURER GENERAL, PASTOR CHARLES PHELPS, PASTOR JACK SCHAAP, PASTOR TERRY JONES, PAUL RYAN, POLITICS, POLITICS IN THE BUFF, PRESIDENT OBAMA, PROGRESSIVES ON THE MARCH, REALITY CHECK, RELIGIOUS RIGHT, RUSH LIMBAUGH, RUSSIAN ANTI-HOMOSEXUALITY LAWS, SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE, SARAH BLOCH OPINIONS, SARAH PALIN, SEX, TEA PARTY, TECTONIC SHIFTS, TED CRUZ, THE AMERICAN TALIBAN, THE BEST OF TERRAN TV, THE BEST OF THE WEB, THE BLAZE, THE CANCER OF HATE, THE CULTURE WARS, THE GOP GENDER GAP, THE GREATER FOOL, THE HELLAC BILL OF RIGHTS, THE IGNORANT TENTH, THE SKY IS FALLING, THE TRIBALISM REPORT, THE WAR ON THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY, THE WAR ON WOMEN, THEOCRACY, THINGS THAT MAKE CONSERVATIVES ANGRY, TIM WISE, TODD AKIN, TOO BIG TO FAIL, TWERKING, U.S. ECONOMY, UNREST IN AMERICA, VOTER SUPPRESSION, WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE THIS SHIT UP, WE SEE YOU, WHITE PRIVILEGE, WINGNUT ROUNDUP, WOMEN'S RIGHTS with tags , , , on 16/04/2014 by sarahbloch

blochadvocate_7

I am currently reading John Nolte’s article on 11 reasons the Left has not won the Culture War at Breitbart.com. Simply reading this is making my day because I love to laugh in the morning. Millions of conservatives have likely read this today and more than a thousand have commented. Those comments will be covered by Fred Schwartz later in the day.

Nolte begins with same sex marriage which I see as a full faith and credit legal issue not a moral and religious one. I don’t think, however, that any shop owner has a right to refuse service to a gay couple anymore than they have the right to refuse service to a person based on their race, religion, gender or disability. The author feels that the “voice of the people” has been tossed out in favor of the rulings of “activist judges.” In a bizarre twist John Nolte points to a rise in “Christian entertainment” as proof that Americans really do not want people they do not know of the same sex to get married. The singular example is the film “Heaven is for Real” which has grossed nothing yet because the film is to be released today. Nolte’s point is that Sony TriStar Pictures has decided to release the film on a Wednesday in 2,417 theaters. This film and others like it are one point Nolte shows as proof that on the topic of same sex marriage the Right is winning. I will make a claim here: Heaven is for Real will not make more money between its premiere and the end of the box office weekend than “Transcendence” will make from its opening until Sunday night on a theater by theater basis.

The next Culture War issue is the legalization of marijuana. Both Washington state and Colorado have legalized the weed most notorious to conservatives and more states are moving to decriminalize small amounts. Most recently the state of Maryland did just that becoming the first state south of the Dixon-Line to decriminalize pot. Fourteen other states and the District of Columbia have also done so. Nolte does not address any of the medical reasons for pot use or even recreational ones as a justification for a victory here in the Culture war. Instead he states that abortion rights activists are on their heels quoting an article on Breitbart.com no less about a poll conducted by the Knights of Columbus regarding abortion rights. The Gallup Polling Service numbers show that those who view themselves as pro-Life vice those that are pro-Choice are nearly equal at 48% to 45%. The numbers of those seeing abortion as federally defined from the same poll vice those who do not believe abortion should be legal at all is 52% vice 20% as of May 2013. Nolte loses this battle as well.

Nolte sticks with entertainment decrying the amount of sex on television but reveling in what he calls the return of the masculine male on the National Geographic Channel. These shows according to the author “celebrate the working class and their traditional values.” What he really means is they celebrate being white, Christian and living in the woods or where it’s very cold. The next “reason” the Right is winning the Culture War is the ascendancy of Jimmy Fallon to the Tonight Show as a counter to Stephen Colbert stepping into David Letterman’s slot after his retirement next year. There is no rhyme or reason to this at all.

The next nugget reveals something about conservatives. They like strong male characters. Nolte point to Don Draper [Mad Men] Walter White [Breaking Bad] and Tony Soprano [The Sopranos] as examples of these. They are called “flawed” and “anti-heroes” and I imagine that takes the guilt away for all the nudity, sex, drugs and violence which conservative say they are against on TV.

More entertainment, really? Miley Cyrus is popular but unions are dying says Nolte. I fear conservatives may never come out of this irrational abyss. As if the weakness of unions in America is a good thing for those working class people they say they love?

Conservative media is on the upswing says Nolte. Well get back to me in 20 years when most Fox News viewers are either dead or senile or have slaughtered their family. There is a trend in there demographically if you just take the time to look.

Women are getting birth control but conservatives have their guns! This is awful. War on women much? The fear of the Other is oozing here.

Nolte sees more money in politics as a solution to what ails the Right politically. No John, the key would be to make your tent bigger. Oh, that’s right you can’t do that because you’d have to let in all those brown people, women and gay people on a level playing field.

Yes, Occupy is dead but given time the TEA Party will wither as well. I think the date on that tombstone will be somewhere around 1 February 2017.

What John Nolte needs is a time machine so he can return to that conservative era of his father the 1950s. Back then by conservative standards women were in their place (not barefoot and pregnant but seen and not heard), minorities were second class citizens and it was a crime to be gay. It must be awful for John Nolte to have to watch as all that unearned privilege is redistributed in the form of earned civil rights.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil

Sarah Bloch, D.S.V.J., J.F., O.Q.H [Jur.]
Amici Bax Demvolu Comnu
Politics & Culture Wars Managing Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
177 1 Leviathan 3 AS

THE BEST OF THE INTERNET: KATHERINE MANAAN

Posted in THE BEST OF THE WEB with tags , , on 19/09/2012 by Majordomo Pain

We, Ourselves, of The Collective, have found a wonderful site run by author and blogger Katherine Manaan. Go there and be enlightened!

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
28 Low Lux Negro 2 AS

JONATHAN CAPEHART EXPLAINS IT ALL

Posted in BIGOTRY, JONATHAN CAPEHART, SARAH BLOCH OPINIONS, THE BEST OF THE WEB, THEY EXPLAIN IT ALL with tags , , , on 24/07/2012 by sarahbloch

There’s no sense in drowning you in my words when the words of Washington Post reporter Jonathan Capehart balttle bigotry with clearminded journalistic intellect so very well.

Di lojti strixiûç!

Sarah Bloch, D.S.V.J., J.F., O.Q.H [Jur.]
Amici Bax Demvolu Comnu
Politics & Culture Wars Managing Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
76 Shatter 2 AS

BEST OF THE WEB: BLAMEBLAKEART MAKES THE CASE FOR THE CONNEXIONS BETWEEN THE LIBOR SCANDAL AND THE DEATH OF THE FALSE GODS OF HAPPY VALLEY

Posted in JOE PATERNO, PENN STATE CHILD SEX ABUSE, THE BEST OF THE WEB, THE MEDITATORS with tags on 24/07/2012 by Majordomo Pain

We, Ourselves, of The Collective are impressed with this article at Structure of Thought by Blameblakeart. We suggest you take the time to read this analysis of the LIBOR scandal as compared to the Penn State child sex abuse cover up. And take note that the deities that men make always are exposed as false in the end.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
76 Shatter 2 AS

THE BEST OF THE WEB: THE WONDROUS WORLD OF CLOTILDA JAMCRACKER

Posted in CLOTILDA JAMCRACKER, THE BEST OF THE WEB, THE MEDITATORS on 11/07/2012 by Majordomo Pain

From time to time We, Ourselves, of The Collective and The Meditators are blessed with the presence on this site of a truly talented artist. Such is the case today with the arrival of a blogger, writer artist, Clotilda Jamcracker. If you want to have some fun and be inspired this evening visit her site at the link above.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
65 Shatter 2 AS

NEOCON1 NOW REALIZES WHAT I’VE ALWAYS SAID THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN

Posted in 2012 US ELECTION, ABORTION RIGHTS, AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM, BIGOTRY, BIRTHERISM, BLOGS 4 VICTORY, COMEDY, CONSERVATIVE HYPOCRISY, CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, COUNTER-THEOCRACY, CRAZY FLORIDA, DIANE VALENCEN OPINIONS, GLBTQ RIGHTS, GOP MELTDOWN, HOMOPHOBIA, HOW HELL WORKS, NEOCON1, POLITICS, PRESIDENT OBAMA, RACE AND POLITICS IN AMERICA, TEA PARTY, THE BEST OF THE WEB, THE WAR ON WOMEN, THEOCRACY, THEY EXPLAIN IT ALL, WHITE PRIVILEGE with tags on 21/06/2012 by Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.

Now that I can breathe I have to weigh in on the incredibly brilliant star turn of investigative journalism posted by my good friend Fred Schwartz this morning. Neocon1 the bigoted bully of Blogs4Victory who has tormented liberal commenters with his smarmy homophobia, his bigotry against African-Americans and his gutless attacks on President Obama has now been exposed as someone who wanted a woman to piss on him. Holy smoke! Today for me, a lesbian mother who is married to the woman she loves is proof that karma is an all powerful thing and can even reach into the depths of Hell.

The above is a gift for Neocon1 and I hope it gives you solace over the next few days as we pound you here whipping that dead horse as we are want to do. To me this is very personal and I know that in this business you must never take things personally. Neocon1 has mocked my sexuality, my accomplishments, my friends and my colleagues over the past six years; now motherfucker, we’re even. I do have a question for the old boy though. Why not just ask your wife to piss on you?

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Editorial Page Editor
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
47 Shatter 2 AS

THE BEST OF THE WEB: MEET SNARKYSNATCH

Posted in FRED SCHWARTZ OPINIONS, IN HINDSIGHT, SNARKYSNATCH, THE BEST OF THE WEB with tags , , , on 27/05/2012 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

I spend more time than I should on the Hellac and Terran Internet, but I’m well compensated for doing so and every now and then you come across a jewel among all the turds. This morning’s glistening emerald from the digital mines is a page run by a gal from the near midwest if you are an East Coaster like I was in my first life. SnarkySnatch is a titillating treat for the eye and brain. The blog is a smartly written voyeuristic leer into the treacherous world of dating for 20 to 30 somethings. There is a tone of hope and humor that draws me to each post and they style of montage is very similar to the award winning artistic flair that Gavlae Reudo Maxric has trotted out these past 6 years here at the Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork.


In Hindsight

So for the hot little vixen from Cleveland, Ohio who writes about sex like Picasso used paint welcome to our little corner of Hell and here’s to your continued fame and of course, hot steamy sex the likes of which leave you laughing like a madwoman for hours and hours after you’ve gone beyond the limits of nirvanna.

Pax Terra!

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