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FROM THE DESK OF THE EDITOR IN CHIEF: COMFORT FOR AMERICAN PROGRESSIVES IN THEIR TIME OF NEED

Posted in Uncategorized on 22/11/2016 by Cavalor Epthith, Esquire, D.S.V.J

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I am watching Carol Costello this morning and already Trump will have disappointed the less learned members of his political base. The Trump White House will not investigate Hillary Clinton. Curious. Whilst millions of Americans are still despondent about the election outcome I remain buoyed by the result. By Independence Day 2017, those most vehement in support of Donald Trump will have their own doubts that the man for which they voted cannot do the things he promised. There will be no wall on the southern border. There will be no mass deportation of Muslims. There will be no criminal trial of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

To my Progressive friends on Terra, wipe your eyes so that you may clearly read my words. This not the end it is a new beginning. A Clinton presidency, mired in its first two years by congressional stonewalling and threats of Impeachment, would have been a disaster and likely would have plunged the United States into violence. If you will you should see the Trump victory as a relief valve for the irrational fears and pent up anger of the tens of millions of white Americans who voted for him. As several of my reporters have written today now Trump has to govern. Many of them hold high confidence that the man can do the job well. While I hope this is the case for America’s sake, I must give my opinion clearly here. This new administration will be a disaster of biblical proportions and by New Year’s Day 2020 there will not be a single Soul to be found in rural America who will admit to voting for Trump.

By that date the Fifth Estate will be under constant criticism for having focused too much on Trump’s failings. I will take no joy in this disaster, however, but it will give Americans of all stripes an opportunity to expose and silence the alt-right over the next four years. That will be my mandate here at The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork; to keep Donald Trump’s actions in laser focus for good or ill. If the man does well we will report it. If he missteps we will hold him and those who voted for him to task. This is the definition of being a journalist. Our work to hold up a mirror to President elect Trump and those who support him begins today. Take heart American Progressives, meter your responses and do not goo too deep into the gutter of this matter for it may not be Our time now but in four years we will be celebrating. On my honor this I promise you.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Cavalor Epthith, Esquire, O.B.R.E., CS, O.D.A.J.[1er], O.Q.H.[Journ.], D.S.V.J., J.F.
Editor-in-Chief
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
89 3 Leviathan 3 AS

DAWN PATROL: 145 HIGH LUX NEGRO 3 AS: AIRBAGS SMARTPHONES FRENCH FLOODING GAZA BORDER CLINTON LEADS HEAVILY AMONG WOMEN VOTERS

Posted in DAWN PATROL, Uncategorized on 01/06/2016 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fredschwartz1

The main news of Terra follows the ellipses . . .

Volkswagen, Toyota, Mitsubishi and Fiat Chrysler state Takata airbags still being installed in some vehicles.

Microsoft virtually exist smartphone market sells patents to Xiaomi.

Nemours, France sees nearly a foot of rain after historical storm.

Hamas: “Rafah border between Gaza and Egypt open.”

Hillary Clinton leads Donald Trump 45% to 41% in latest Quinnipiac Poll; surges among women 54% to 30%.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
144 High Lux Negro 3 AS

DIVERTISSMENT: ROCK CREEK PARK DONALD BYRD AND THE BLACKBYRDS

Posted in Uncategorized on 08/02/2016 by Majordomo Pain

As_DaVinci_would_have_seen_Pain

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Nuc. Phys.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Journ.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
30 High Lux Negro 3 AS

CRACK BUST BLOTTER

Posted in Uncategorized on 31/12/2015 by Robin Naismith Green

hoops green 6

As a response to a request from a conservative reader of this blog we have the final crack bust blotter for 2015 . . .

Alfred Thomas Fisher, Kinnett, Missouri.

Jeffrey Davies and Kerry Burgess, Biddeford, Maine.

Barry Glover, Shannon Gray and Michael Brown, Deer Isle, Maine.

Eric J Stuke Lady Lake, Florida.

Philip Toister, Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Robin Naismith Green, D.S.V.J., O.G.H. [Journ.]
Serratoth Custom House
City Desk Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
92 Hov’ish 3 AS

HOW HELL WORKS: THE DELICIOUSLY ALLURING ART OF CHRISTINE MCCONNELL

Posted in ART, CHRISTINE MCCONNELL, Uncategorized with tags , on 30/11/2015 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fredschwartz1

 

With all of the violence, hate and stupidity going on among the Living these days [and that’s just among the field of presidential candidates from the GOP!–F.S.] I thought it would be a good idea to look at something that we can all agree is cool and beautiful. And in this case I have to add mouthwateringly tasty. For many, many months now my deep dark secret crush on the terrestrial Internet has been Christine McConnell, a woman that has quite inappropriately described by me in mixed company as what would happen if Cindy Crawford, Paula Deen and Elvira the Mistress of the Dark had a love child.

But McConnell, a true Southern belle, is more than simply a baker, she is a renaissance woman who turns food into horrifying art and clothing into couture. She is the embodiment of modern 21st century cool without drifting into the abyss of hipsterism. Christine McConnell is so cool she doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.

To paraphrase one of the more interesting lines of the 1998 film “meet Joe Black”, McConnell is “diffident in the most seductive way.” And she does and has seduced me mostly with the mixture of all things horrific and creepy with baked treats. She has authored a new book entitled, “Deceptive Desserts” which will be available soon. There’s a pie shaped like the Alien movie face hugger, Mogwai cakes and a creepy farmhouse cake!

McConnell and Trigger

Above is my favorite photo from McConnell’s Flickr stream. it is the last of a series of photographs [yes she’s a very accomplished photographer] done as homage to the maternal line of her family. it ends with a peek beyond the nearly preternatural artistic talent into the realm of Christine simply being silly and yet capturing the essence of another sentient being not even of her species. So take some time to get away from ISIS and campus rallies and the pressure of Holiday Shopping Season gift buying to enjoy something truly amazing about a woman whose talent is inspirational. And oh year buy her book or she’ll haunt your dreams! Seriously, she will.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
61 2 Leviathan 3 AS

HOW HELL WORKS: WHAT YOU DO UNTO OTHERS HAS A COST AT THE END OF YOUR DAYS

Posted in Uncategorized on 22/11/2015 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fredschwartz1

This should be a really simple concept, “Do unto other as you would have them do unto you.” That means if there was a catastrophe in the United States one would hope other nations would come to your aid.

But there seems to be a trend in modern America of hate, disillusion and bigotry that runs so deep that even those suffering the type of horrors as the refugees from Syria, many of whom are Christians, are seen as threats to the consumption of beer, driving and daily search for first time sex partners that has made America great. Conservatives aren’t going to like this post very much. I’ve spent the last few days, well actually the last nine days, here in the office working on the facts of the Paris attacks by Da’esh. That’s right Da’esh, not ISIS, we won’t be calling them that anymore; and I’ve come to a few conclusions.

The first conclusion is that Da’esh can’t win this war and establish a caliphate from India to England. It ain’t gonna happen. They have no planes, no tanks and no navy so fuck them. What they can do is disrupt all the nice stuff the West has and that’s a problem. SO what needs to be done is to eliminate Da’esh and all those who support them. As of right now my source in the French intelligence community says Da’esh has maybe 850,000 followers globally with 25% of those committed to doing violence. That number includes the estimated 180,000 fighting currently in Syria.

You don’t need too many people to form a cell to do the heinous acts of violence like we all saw in Paris on 13 November. One hundred seven person cells would cause widespread panic in Europe and the United States, but it hasn’t happened yet and I wish I could say I doubt it ever will. And this leads me to the second conclusion.

The United States will get hit again and this time by Da’esh. Pain has been working on more scenarios than any terrestrial computer could calculate and process and likely it will be in a major US city on the East Coast or the South and it will have between 750 and 1,000 casualties. This will look like the Charlie Hebdo attacks or the 13 November attacks in Paris or a drawn out Mumbai style attack. Not a single one of the attackers is likely to be a Syrian refugee, but you couldn’t tell Donald Trump that. They will be radicalized Americans just as the murderers in France were radicalized French.

Good intelligence work will stop an attack and many have been thwarted over the past 12 months. What isn’t helping is the political rhetoric from conservatives about Syrian refugees and Muslims in general. Muslims are not bad people but there are some bad Muslims. Not all conservatives are bigots but some bigots are conservatives. You see my point.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
53 2 Leviathan 3 AS

BREITBART WATCH: FIRST THE RACIAL SMEAR NOW THEY DON’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CANCEL AND PAUSE

Posted in Uncategorized on 22/08/2015 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fredschwartz1

Okay quick and dirty kids. You know I have no love for people who don’t do journalism well. And I have even more disdain for journalists who feel it’s right to fabricate stories for ideological gain and clicks. That said, Breitbart ran two stories this week that the smart kids in the room have noticed.

The first is Breitbart’s accusation that Black Live Matter activist Shaun King was actually white. Well he was raised by two white parents but it appears the Breitbart writing staff failed biology 101. Shaun’s biological father is black making King bi-racial. Oops. No retraction noted yet.

The next journalism failure is the effort to blame the tensions at the Korean border on the Obama administration saying that military exercises were “cancelled” due to “pressure from North Korea.” The exercises were paused but according to media reports and military communiques the exercise is ongoing as of right now.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
109 Hov’ish 3 AS

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