Archive for aviation

THIS JUST IN: UNITED PARCEL SERVICE AIRCRAFT EXPLODES ON FINAL APPROACH TO BIRMINGHAM-SHUTTLESWORTH AIRPORT

Posted in THIS JUST IN with tags , , , , on 14/08/2013 by Majordomo Pain

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Flight 1354, an Airbus A330 aircraft operated by the United Parcel Service is has crashed while approaching the Birmingham-Shuttlesworth Airport while en route from Louisville, Kentucky. Eyewitnesses relayed initially to reporters from the American MSM that the plane was on fire before it struck the ground but these reports have mostly been removed from corporate media web sites. The airport which is 7.2 kilometers northwest of the city is the largest airport in the state of Alabama having served over 3.4 million passengers in 2012 and has two runways the primary at 12, 000 feet in length and the secondary at 7,100 feet in length. The incident is being investigated by the National Transportation Safety Board and the Federal Aviation Administration and at this time there are no casualty reports.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
90 Colnu 2 AS

WE DON’T HAVE TO MAKE THIS SHIT UP: RICK WILES CLAIMS THE SEWER PIPES IN HELL HAVE BURST AND POURED ONTO THE STREETS OF AUSTIN, TEXAS

Posted in CONSERVATIVE FEAR, CONSERVATIVE HYPOCRISY, CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, FRED SCHWARTZ OPINIONS, IN HINDSIGHT, WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE THIS SHIT UP with tags , , , , on 18/07/2013 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fred_schwartz_6

I happen to know the demon that has the unenviable task of maintaining the sewer system here in Hell’s capital Dis. His name is Loxach Brindaloo and he takes his job very seriously as he is a professional engineer. When I called him this afternoon to tell him that an end times radio personality named Rick Wiles said that “raw satanic sewage coming up out of Hell” poured out onto the streets of Austin, Texas last week he answered quite professionally, “bullshit.” It turns out that my good friend Loxach is absolutely correct in his estimate of the amount of actual truth in Wiles’ statement. Rick Wiles gets paid to make some of the whitest weakest minded people in America to send him money because they are afraid of what happens after they die rather than considering if they lived good first lives they would slide right on into their Afterlife here in Hell with three ounces of gold in their pocket and a massive and diverse nation at their feet.

bacchanal

You see Rick Wiles doesn’t really believe in Hell. Rick Wiles is in the business of serving himself by playing on the fears of people who feel that this world cannot satisfy them. Look at the picture above. That’s what they really want but they have been told they can’t have it for so long that they would prefer to believe all the people who kept them from this will go to a fiery and anguish filled Hell while since they deprived themselves of all things fun of the flesh on Terra they will go to a white and peaceful place where they still cannot enjoy any of the pleasures of the flesh.

hindsight 2225
In Hindsight

Of course this is all about right wing white Christians and their personal war against women who can think for themselves. This is a battle not between G-d and Shai’tan but between Patriarchy and Feminism–and Feminism, right now has as Bud Wilkinson used to say about his Oklahoma football teams of the 1960s “hung 50 on ’em before halftime without bustin’ a sweat.” You have to keep in mind that the states where the majority of these angry white men live consume more porn than the rest of English speaking Terra combined. How could this be possible in a place where the Bible keeps its pants up with that buckle? Well, this is going to be like finding out there’s no Santa Claus, but these people are hypocrites. Rick Wiles is among the worst of the worst. He is so far right that he thinks Glenn beck is in al Qaeda. wiles is a marketing guy and what he’s marketing is a curious combination of stupidity and fear that does more damage to the Soul than enjoying your life, learning new things and respecting people.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
63 Colnu 2 AS

YOUR WEEKLY THURSDAY COCO AUSTIN: HEATWAVE EDITION

Posted in COCO AUSTIN, COCO THONG THURSDAY with tags , , , , , on 18/07/2013 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

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Well the latest trial of the century has passed and the major cities of the United States, much to the chagrin of hopeful conservative pundits, are not ablaze and the United States Army is not pout shooting rioters. All in all it has been a good week as I have been in your nation’s capital rubbing elbows with the highbrows at the National Press Club, the National Arboretum and Nationals Park. That’s right folks I have been on a well deserved vacation. It’s so hot in DC right now that I almost feel comfortable. The high temperature in Dis today is supposed to be 119 which is chilly by Hell’s standards but in DC today it will be 97 and feel like its 110. Now I can dress a little more appropriately for the weather.

COCO heat wave

I have been remiss in my Coco Austin postings. Today we celebrate the heat and humidity with a little bit of steam from Ms Austin.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
63 Colnu 2 AS

THOMAS EDSALL EXPLAINS IT ALL: ARE YOU LISTENING PRESIDENT OBAMA?

Posted in CLASS WARFARE, PRESIDENT OBAMA, THE INCOME GAP with tags , , , on 22/06/2013 by Majordomo Pain

As_DaVinci_would_have_seen_Pain

We, Ourselves, of the Collective and the Meditators disagree on many matters of domestic and foreign policy with the sitting President. However, nothing is more crucial currently than bridging the gap between the middle class and the rich regarding income. A redistribution of wealth in a nation with a 13 MMMM USD consumer economy would go infinitely in a more positive and healing direction than any of the quantitative easing steps taken by Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke. To allow the disparity in income to remain as Thomas Edsall points out in his New York Times Op-Ed would be the greatest failure of President Obama’s two term presidency. We, Ourselves hope that the next Democratic administration in the White House sets tackling this problem as a priority.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
43 Colnu 2 AS

IF IT’S THURSDAY IT’S COCO AUSTIN DAY: SUMMER TIME WHEN THE LIVING’S EASY

Posted in COCO AUSTIN, COCO THONG THURSDAY, FRED SCHWARTZ OPINIONS with tags , , , on 06/06/2013 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

fred_schwartz_4

The Congress will be going back to their districts and sates soon and much of the furor over the many trumped up and actual scandals besetting the White House currently will become chatter only for the Conservative base. By the time they return to the trough that is the District of Columbia the news cycle screaming Mimi of the Internet and cable news will have unearthed some new juicy tidbit to gnaw on for a brief 48 hours. With that in mind enjoy Coco Austin at the beach. Here’s a little known fact of the woman who lends truth to the old adage that good things come in small packages [Coco is only 5’2″] she’s of Yugoslavian descent. Who knew?

Coco on the beach

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
28 Colnu 2 AS

MAISIE WILLIAMS EXPLAINS IT ALL

Posted in GAME OF THRONES, MAISIE WILLIAMS, RED WEDDING, THEY EXPLAIN IT ALL with tags , , , , on 05/06/2013 by Majordomo Pain

dzama2398-200

We, Ourselves, of the Collective were shocked at the deaths at the Red Wedding; not as shocked as Maisie Williams.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
27 Colnu 2 AS

CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY: LAAL HETHRI LOOKING INTO HEPATITIS A OUTBREAK CAUSED BY TAINTED FROZEN BERRY MIX FROM TOWNSEND FARMS

Posted in PRODUCT RECALL, PRODUCT SAFETY with tags , , , , , on 02/06/2013 by Majordomo Pain

As_DaVinci_would_have_seen_Pain

USA Today is reporting 30 people have been rendered ill from a strain of Hepatitis A most common in North Africa and the Middle East they contracted by eating a frozen berry mix packaged by Townsend Farms of Fairview, Oregon and the packages of Organic Antioxidant Blend Frozen Berry Mix were sold at Costco. The US Food and Drug Administration expects there to be more cases reported with many coming from outside the states of Colorado, New Mexico, California, Nevada and Arizona. The Laal Hethri are looking into this matter of contaminated frozen berries due to the strain of Hepatitis A found in the fruit packages to determine the origin of the contamination.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Pain
Knight Slayer of Shai’ tan
الافتتاحية من الفتاحات
Majordomo of Hell and Terra’s Skies
Order of the Black Rose of the Empire
Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow
Fair Judge Executioner of Souls
Quarterer’s Order of the Descending Aorta, 1st Class, with diamonds, rubies, platinum concertina, golden concertina, gilded pancreas, emerald gall bladder, platinum spleen, mesentery and lymph nodes
Lady Gaoler of Dis
Chief Engineer Hellac Power & Light
Womb of Empires
Order of the Superior Vena Cava
先生 立石 上様
Fifth Sea Lord of Hell
Comptroller of the Currency
Chair, Hellac Consumer Products Safety Commission
Oracle of Elections
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Mot. Pict. Arts & Sci.]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Tort]
Order of the Obsidian Heart [Fluid Dyn.]
Chair, Hellac Commission on Sentient Being Rights
Lady High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Gold
Knight Commandrix of the Hellac Gordian Knot of Silver
Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell
Qadi of Hades
Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff of the Universal Fatean Church
Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Jur.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Metaphys.]
Order of the Quartz Heart [Philos.]
Countess-Palatine of Sheol
Marquise di Gehenna
Empress Consort
White Rod
President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu
Managing Editor—Breaking News
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
24 Colnu 2 AS

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