Archive for pitchfork

THE SATURDAY AFTERNOON POST: A LOOK BACK AT AN HISTORICAL MONTH IN AMERICA

Posted in CONSERVATIVE ANTI-INTELLECTUALISM, CONSERVATIVE BIGOTRY, CONSERVATIVE COWARDICE, CONSERVATIVE DESPERATION, CONSERVATIVE FEAR, CONSERVATIVE HATRED OF BLACKS, CONSERVATIVE HEADS EXPLODING, CONSERVATIVE HYPOCRISY, CONSERVATIVE IGNORANCE, CONSERVATIVE INCITEMENT TO VIOLENCE, CONSERVATIVE LIES, CONSERVATIVE NEWS, CONSERVATIVE RESISTANCE TO FACT CHECKING, CONSERVATIVE VIOLENCE, CONSERVATIVES ARE OLD AND DYING AND SCARED, DIANE VALENCEN OPINIONS, OBAMACARE, POLITICS, RACE AND POLITICS IN AMERICA, SAME SEX MARRIAGE, THE CULTURE WARS, THE SATURDAY RANT, THINGS THAT MAKE CONSERVATIVES ANGRY, WE SEE YOU with tags , , , , on 27/06/2015 by Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.

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As I sit here in my home relaxing after a very nice brunch with Veronica, I can’t help but think about history. Not just any history but the history of my former nation the United States of America and how it has been intertwined with the history of this newspaper. In just sixty-one days The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork will celebrate its tenth anniversary as a progressive and hard hitting news blog. Our very first story in late August 2005 was about the devastation of Hurricane Katrina in Louisiana and Cavalor Epthith [q c p n!] made it clear after the first week that this blog was a work in progress and that our mission was not to change the minds of people but to “simply make them think.”

Well, people are thinking, some of them hopefully many of the more than a million that have read these pages, are. Cavalor after the first year said he was willing to keep the digital version of the paper alive for five Terran years and in that last few months before the fifth anniversary he would review our efforts and decide if it should continue for another five years. After the election of President Barack Obama and all the reporting the staff had done on the failure of the Iraq War there was a feeling of certainty that the plug would not be pulled.

On 29 August 2010 Cavalor said, “We simply cannot stop now just when things are getting interesting.” Oh, how much more interesting things have gotten since that day. This month has seen tragedy in Charleston, South Carolina as nine black Christians were murdered by a white supremacist terrorist and triumph as the United States’ Supreme Court upheld Obamacare and decided that same sex couples have marriage rights in all fifty states of the Union. Despite conservative warnings that the nation would tear itself apart if either of these decisions came to pass it is business as usual from Washington to Los Angeles on this fine morning.

So as is in my nature I’ve taken my victory lap over these two decisions, said a quiet prayer to the Fates on behalf of the grieving families of the victims in Charleston and gone back to the work that I am tasked to do here– looking for threads in the reports of news from all over Terra. There is still much work to do and Cavalor knows this best of all. Just yesterday he brought the staff in for a meeting about what we will be doing here digitally for the 2016 election. “So we’re not shutting up shop in late August?” I asked smiling. “Not a chance,” he said, “things are just getting interesting.”

More impressions from the staff on five more years of The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork follow over the rest of your week end.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Editorial Page Editor
The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork
54 Hov’ish 3 AS

THE DEATH OF THE MIDDLE CLASS: TIMOTHY WADE MILES, MUNCIE, INDIANA NAACP PRESIDENT AND FRED ZEH, JEFFERSONTOWN, KENTUCKY

Posted in FRED SCHWARTZ OPINIONS, THE DEATH OF THE MIDDLE CLASS with tags , , , , , on 27/04/2015 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

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Two stories, both tragic, both simply local news, but one has drawn the gleeful ire of conservative bloggers and the other has not. I’m not the crime guy here at The Dis Brimstone Daily Pitchfork, I’m the stats and research guy. When i get up in the morning I’m looking for trends and in this case I’ve got a series of deep trends.

An ongoing sting operation in Muncie, Indiana ensnared a MITS worker who was selling cocaine. That worker is Timothy Wade Miles the current president of the local chapter of the NAACP. Conservative bloggers are having an ideological orgasm over this because, in their fetid minds, this means the national NAACP is a corrupt organization that is in the illegal drug trade. By all accounts, the real criminals in this case are the corporations and the 1% that keep ripping away the tatters of the Middle Class American Dream. That dream is gone for virtually every average citizen in America who used to be able to save for the future of their children. Now, you are lucky to be one of the millions living paycheck to paycheck and one catastrophic necessity breakdown from poverty.

Conservative sites are angry that this isn’t the lead story on CNN, MSNBC and the three major networks for the next five news cycles. They are crying and ripping their shirts that there has been a “media blackout” about Wade selling cocaine to undercover cops and offering to give cocaine to a female informant for sex. In reality as the link above notes there is no media blackout because it is a local story, not a national one. The losers in this story are Wade and his family because he’s busted and at best he’ll get a plea deal and decades in prison. There are no winners in this case because the bones of the middle class dream are still being sucked on by the 1%. Wade did what he did for self gratification: for money and sex that he couldn’t get from the husk of the current Middle Class condition in America.

This takes me to the case of Fred Zeh in Jeffersontown, Kentucky. This is another local story not too far from the story in Muncie, Indiana. Zeh shot his wife in the head while she was leaving a business. He left the crime scene according to police reports went to a bar and had a few drinks and then went home and shot and killed himself. Zeh wasn’t a Progressive, he isn’t black and he has no ties to Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama by race, ideology or occupation so this story to the Right Wing Blogosphere simply doesn’t exist. But it does offer a cautionary tale to old white conservative men in America. The women you married back in the golden age of White Privilege are sick of you and the bullshit in your heads, the vitriol that spews from you mouths and how glaringly ignorant you are in this new age of technology. They want what they gave up to be with you 30 or 40 or even 50 years ago. They want their sexual freedom, economic freedom and their spiritual freedom from the jail of sharing a bed with an angry old white man. So every time you read a conservative blogger writing that it’s the end of the world for white conservatives because black people are rioting in Baltimore think about how many victims like Lucy Zeh there are out there who are killed by their white husbands simply because they want to be free. Now that’s a story folks.

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
196 Melnar 3 AS

VANCE MCALLISTER CANCELS TEA PARTY EVENT AS HIS WIFE MOVES TOWARD DIVORCE

Posted in CONSERVATIVE LIES, CONSERVATIVE NEWS, CONSERVATIVE OBSESSION WITH SEX, CONSERVATIVE SEX SCANDAL, VANCE MCALLISTER with tags , , , , on 15/04/2014 by sarahbloch

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The Louisiana House member who was caught on camera kissing a married female staffer has cancelled a TEA Party speaking engagement in favor of going into couple’s counselling sources in his congressional district have informed The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork. Vance McAllister was scheduled to speak before the North Central Louisiana TEA Party Patriots today, but instead is focusing on his tattered marriage. McAllister who sources say has a history contrary to his conservative “family first” persona has become yet another embarrassment to the GOP.

Those who live in his district and those who work near the first term representative tell a story different from the family values and Christian ethics videos that were used during the McAllister campaign. There are whispers of dalliances past and a “party animal” lifestyle when McAllister is in Washington. Other reports that have come in to this newspaper refute the statements that McAllister’s wife knew about the affair with Melissa Peacock before the video surfaced. “Kelly was devastated,” one Ruston resident close to the family shared, “this would be a blow to any family but to find out on the Internet is heart breaking.” Another said, “The GOP wants him out, that’s a done deal. The real question is if he can save his marriage, or even wants to save it.”

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Sarah Bloch, D.S.V.J., J.F., O.Q.H [Jur.]
Amici Bax Demvolu Comnu
Politics & Culture Wars Managing Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
176 1 Leviathan 3 AS

BREAD AND CIRCUSES: THE SAD GAME THAT CONSERVATIVES SHOULD REALLY FEAR

Posted in GUN VIOLENCE IN AMERICA, MURDER SUICIDE, ROBIN NAISMITH GREEN OPINIONS with tags , , , , , on 01/12/2013 by Robin Naismith Green

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Now that my hiatus from my duties here at The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork has come to an end I have returned to my office here on Serratoth Island to find that conservatives have a new game with which they are fascinated. The game is called the Knockout Game and while it appears to be cases of random violence perpetrated by angry and isolated youths, the conservative pundits and bloggers feel it is the greatest threat to the safety of Americans since the Cuban Missile Crisis. I am glad to tell you from my lofty perch here in the Afterlife that this is not the great threat conservatives make it out to be. In fact, by Valentine’s Day of next year very few American conservatives will be blogging about the Knockout Game but they will still be dying by the thousands by the hands of their own family members from gun violence that manifests itself as murder suicide.

I don’t want to waste much time on this because I am very far behind having just returned to work in my reporting of the arrivals in Hell of the departed from Terra. Let me be brief and say that for every report of a black youth punching an innocent white person in the head there are at least ten deaths that can be attributed to murder suicide by firearm. As I have reported many times in the past I find it curious that conservatives see random acts of violence such as this so-called Knockout Game as a threat to their very existence but they cannot see the threat, in most of their own homes and own private relationships, that guns are. To conservatives murder suicide by gun by the hands of a known person is a “personal tragedy” while a random act of violence because of the race of the perp is a national news story.

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Robin Naismith Green, D.S.V.J., O.G.H. [Journ.]
Serratoth Custom House
City Desk Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
48 1 Leviathan 2 AS

YOU WEEKLY THURSDAY COCO AUSTIN: RED IS MY FAVORITE COLOR

Posted in COCO AUSTIN, COCO THONG THURSDAY, FRED SCHWARTZ OPINIONS with tags , , , on 29/08/2013 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

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coco-austin 29 Aug 13

Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
104 Colnu 2 AS

WHY ALL THE GIRLS IN THE DIS BRIMSTONE DAILY PITCHFORK OFFICE DRINK COFFEE

Posted in COMEDY, DIVERTISSMENTI with tags , , on 24/08/2013 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

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Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
99 Colnu 2 AS

MY REACTION TO THE VERDICT IN THE CASE OF TRAYVON MARTIN

Posted in BIGOTRY, RACE AND POLITICS IN AMERICA, RACIAL VIOLENCE with tags , , on 17/07/2013 by Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H. [Journ.]

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Pax Terra!

Fredrick Schwartz, D.S.V.J., CS, O.Q.H [Journ.]
Managing Editor—Research
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
67 Colnu 2 AS

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